Ako Legal Wife

Note: Bloody in many parts - Part 3

There was something so different about Bloody when I saw him that day at the terminal. No smiles, no jokes, and no flirty lines. He was this whole different person detached from his usual charming self who automatically beams at the sight of me. And of all the people I knew, he was the least person to be demon-possessed.

He was the devil himself.

I had a cute battle plan prepared for that day. The lines were rehearsed inside my head for a couple of times in between dreams, breakfast and sleep. The visuals were there, the blocking was fantastic, the timing was precise and my alibi was set. I was to approach him to inquire about the transport franchise application we talked about a few nights ago. Appear helpless, if not stupid. Of course, only I knew about the truth to my little scheming. It’s actually a lame excuse to talk to him, get him talking and check out if those well-toned muscles and abs are for real. Sometimes, my vision would register him as a Jay Manalo or Die Hard 4 Sidekick What’s His Name Again look-alike. Yes. Hunk.

Surprisingly, his response to my well-rehearsed line was particularly out of tune. It was monosyllabic and cryptic I felt like some cheap chick stalking on him and vying for his attention. It was like eating leftover pizza from the fridge. When he sensed my sheer disappointment, he whispered, “My wife is here.”

I thought my eyeballs popped out of their sockets. I knew he was a married guy but meeting his wife was something I really didn’t expect to happen. Not in a thousand years.

Now casual Bloody introduced me to his wife who was inside the van occupying the same seat which, well, I would borrow on certain nights. She was a little taller and leaner than I am. Her hair was black and long. And she gave me that sharp inquisitive look from head to toe. But I managed to win her with a friendly smile and a voice that assured her place in history as the legal wife. It's a simple PR tactic I learned over the years as a professional and a university scholar who majored in PR – Plastics Reinvented.

The entire game plan was changed abruptly with the latest addition to the cast of two. But the storyline was the same. The tone was business-like and friendly to make sure I go under her radar undetected. Bloody, her husband, evaporated from thin air. After all, who would want to be caught in a crossfire just in case?

In the course of lengthy 30-minute discussion with the wife covering procedures, drivers and nasty cops, I detected at least five “bolero” words in her vocabulary. I knew she said those deliberately when the talk would shift to her husband, Bloody. Just by listening to her gripe figuratively, I knew they had been fighting for the longest time over trust issues. And while I didn’t exactly fit the bill of a sexy other woman (save for a stunning hairdo courtesy of my brother’s barber), she still saw me as a potential threat. My hair was so damn lovable (har har) but that did not exempt me from undergoing a series of her homemade polygraph tests. I was bombarded with questions about where I live, work, move and breathe. I offered her generous generic answers.

Anyway, what was there for me to hide? Her husband and I were nothing but just casual acquaintances in the process of developing an intense liking for each other. But that rainbow-like connection never went far beyond teasing. It was not even physical no matter how Bloody often begged for a kiss.

The wife insisted in giving me her number. To get in touch, she said. I got her number but I didn’t give her mine. I seriously doubted her intentions. It was either she tries to recruit me to be her ally or stalk on me. I am far way too savvy for that. I Google.

I saw Bloody from a safe distance. I could sense his fear and gaze following me as I left the terminal. I had just uncovered valuable secrets to his being. Somehow the playing field was laid bare and made even. It stripped him naked to the core I had to cover him with a smile that seemed to say, "I know. It's alright. Don't you dare try to mess up with me."